My Big Rant about Spider-Man (in development)

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Ok. So. This morning I woke up and I decided I’m tired.  Even though I had just woken up.  Tired of trying to enjoy the exploits of my long-time favorite superhero.  This is not a rant about the horribleness of the “One More Day” storyline or what it did to Spider-Man.  I’ve already covered that, long ago. (But here’s a quick (and funny) rundown, if anyone needs to catch up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDF52sDD_78&feature=related).

So, One More Day is over.  Brand New Day is over.  There have been numerous storylines that have started, ended, left hanging, etc.  Currently they’re drudging up some old story about Ben Reilly (aka the clone) that seems kindof interesting.  But here’s why I’m still disappointed – bad storytelling.  Yes, nobody remembers Peter’s identity.  And by nobody, I mean NOBODY.  Harry Osborn? Nope!  Norman Osborn?  NOPE!  Black Cat for whatever reason has no clue.  Even though he revealed his identity a loooooong as time ago.  In events that had nothing to do with Civil War or Mary Jane or anything.  Not only that, but now they constantly have shitty throw-away lines like “it’s really dark, so there’s no way Harry/Felicia could’ve seen my face.” WTF.  What the Fucking Fuck?  How old are you guys who write this?  I love the Black Cat.  Seeing this cover made me quite excited:

ASM_606

Woah, a blast from the past!  Finally, after bringing Mary Jane back into the fold, now Black Cat comes!  Cool!  But the truth of the matter is this:  Mary Jane remembers he’s Spider-Man.  And she is barely in the book at all.  She’s on a list of about 5 people Peter Parker is boning (Black Cat is also on that list).  That’s his former wife, partner, best friend, the lady of his life.  Reduced to another notch on the belt.  I guess that’s the thing that still upsets me about this new Spider-Man.  Yes, they did Brand New Day for a reason.  Aunt May is alive, Harry is alive.  Neither are really in the book in any significant way.  It’s frustrating.  And the writing suffers from such gimmicks as “oh no! my webshooters aren’t working” and “I’m glad nobody saw my face because it was so dark” !  Sloppy and lazy.  And yet I’m still giving them my money, 3x a month.  Why?  I’m on the edge of quitting the damn book.  I already quite the Hulk because of Jeph Loeb’s sloppy storytelling.  Damn.

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